This one’s for all my single ladies praying for a man of God to walk into their life. Will you give me a few moments to share a bit of my heartfelt concern and plight of the dating scene among Jesus-loving women?
I’ve been told I’m “old school”, “traditional” or that I’m not “putting myself out there” enough *insert eyeroll here*. Honestly, maybe by the world’s standards yes, but I’m living out loud for Jesus, and He does things a little differently. Let me explain…
For starters, we should never ever settle or compromise our values or morals. By that I mean, NEVER! God created us for fellowship with Him. His Spirit in us prompts us to journey with Him and see Him move in and through us. He’s a jealous God, and so anything that replaces Him in our lives is eventually going to crumble. If our hearts are solely focused on our desires, our own needs and that “lukewarm” Christian guy at church, then we’re missing the point.
We’re never going to find the perfect man… unless that man is Jesus, the Son of God and He’s perfect… and then… we’ll you’re set girl. But the man you’re praying for… sorry to break it to you beautiful one, but an imperfect man he will be. Don’t lose all hope now… if God’s in it… then it’ll be God’s choice for you, and nothing could be better for you.
Our God is such a good and loving Father, He created marriage and love, He believes in it, and He knows the benefits of relationship, marriage and family. I don’t doubt that if you’re praying for it, God hears you and will answer you…but not a moment too soon and not a moment too late. His timing is perfect. In the meantime, try to be content in your waiting season and focus on your relationship with Jesus first and foremost.
We have to stop seeking attention from men and start walking in our own God-given purpose apart from whether that guy notices us or not. We shouldn’t compromise our standards or values just to get the guy, and yet, I see so many women doing this. We end up losing ourselves when we drop what is important to us just to feel loved. And lovely woman, you aren’t a diva or high maintenance for having realistic standards.
There are friends in my life, and I’m including myself in this, who have made the mistake of getting into a relationship with a man who really wasn’t clear with his relationship with Jesus. It’s important to me, so it needs to be important to him too! Let’s suppose he goes to church off and on, maybe his family is Christian, or he may be able to recall Bible stories, but if the guy doesn’t even own a Bible? Really? Why are we settling for these men and then finding out later on there’s something missing.
I’ve asked some women whether or not the guy they’re dating is a Christian, and many times they shrug it off, “Oh, he goes to church with me”, or “He sings on the worship team”… GIRL, I didn’t ask you what he did, I asked you if he’s saved, does he LOVE Jesus? Is he sold out for Him?
I made the mistake a few times… I’ve dated guys who either were not Christians (BAD IDEA!), or not sold out at all… and in my opinion, that’s still the same thing as “unequally yoked”. If you’re a Christ follower, then God wants you to be with someone who identifies as the same. That way you’re both on the same foundation. But that leads me to my next question….what about our heart for the Lord? Are we sold out for Him? That could have an effect on the type of guys we’re falling for, or the type of guys pursuing us. There’s a reason why God’s Word instructs us to not be “unequally yoked”… there’s so many consequences and challenges later on, this is not to say there aren’t troubles in a “yoked” marriage…but Jesus at the center of any marriage is better than without.
I can already hear the laughs of my “naysayers”, “No wonder she’s still single, or “ugh… back at it again with her Christianese”… We all have “naysayers” in our world, but if we let them interrupt our vision, we would never get very far. They can say what they want, but they won’t stop God’s plan for your life if you keep your eyes fixed on Him.
It’s so important to focus on the relationships we do have right this very moment… the right now relationships; the ones that are of so much value to us; our family, our friends, the church, the poor and the unchurched. God wants to use us right where we are…He doesn’t want us pining over the “what if” relationships.
Then there are the guys who are intimidated of the women with the strong and deep faith in Jesus. The closer you draw to the Lord, the further away these men seem to be. But we have to ask ourselves what’s more important? If we start to settle our faith, downsize it, retract it so that a guy will fall for us, we’re not doing anyone any favors. If a man is threatened or turned off by your faith in Jesus, then say, “Boy bye, be gone in Jesus Name”… don’t feel bad at all, he’s not the one for you anyways.
Here’s my prayer for you today. That you understand that God only wants good things for you, but these are things that will bring Him glory and that set His purposes for your life in motion. There’s a difference… so I pray that you are open to receiving what He has for you regardless of the cost, regardless of what you think should happen. My prayer today is that you begin to walk in the fullness that God has for you set apart from what the world tells you. I can’t guarantee there will be a man for you one day… but I do know that there’s a man named Jesus who’s always been waiting for you, pursuing you and trying to get your attention all along, and girl, He’s so worth and worthy of the wait!
Maneesha Grace 💕